don't let a seed of doubt sprout

Fuck what your parents say about your future.

okay that was harsh.

fuck what your parents say about living about your future.

Do whatever you want.

WHATEVER you want to do. It is your life. It's yours for the taking, the playing, the working, the dancing, singing, sporting, fancying, styling and englarging. Go where you want to go, be who you want to be.

Not saying you should totally rebel against your parents, after all they helped you be who you are anyway...not to mention they love you and they're paying for college...

BUT

Don't go to college for something thats okay. WHY THE FUCK would you SETTLE for OKAY!? Don't you want to be happy?! Go out there and seize that opportunity you've always wanted...That DREAM you've always seeked. GO! I'm serious! Don't let anyone plant a seed of doubt in you. Because when they do, other people will try and it will only feed and water that sprout until the sprout grows and forces you to change your path. Then that seed will grow into a beautiful tree of REGRET. Which you will stare at and wonder, just WONDER, for the rest of your life. You know why it's so beautiful? Cause it was yours. It was your dream. And you're gonna sit there on some dirt path and look at this large, lucious tree and think...what could have been? what if i did this? what if ...

dont ask yourself

WHAT IF.

Go after the

WHAT IF.

Dare to be that someone who you've always wanted to be!

...

side note* ...just for anyone whos reading...this is totally about aspirations and positiveness...this isnt like..."if your dream is to kill everyone in the state of new york..." ...yeah bad...i will discourage that...actually murder is quite frowned upon in most countries...see even if you do that..this weird seed will grow inside you...and it'll be the grossest plant filled with tasteless and grotesque fruit and brusselsprouts and you'll have to be forced to eat them forever and throw up everyday until you die....

YEAH COOL...NOT WHAT I MEANT....POSITIVE. like..

fly to the moon, or be the first woman president...hairdresser, author....those sorts. =]

anyway!

GO TO COLLEGE FOR WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY! What is the damn point of learning something you just...LIKE.

LIKE.

what a half word. It's used so much...I use it too much. Which is why it's such a throw away word. LOVE, PASSION, FIRE, DRIVE, VIVID LIFE, BRIGHTNESS...DAYUM. I mean...seriously.

Certain people would come up to me and say "it's a hard life, the performance world...ya know...very little money..you have to wait tables and lots of auditions and money for lessons...and blah blah melissa....sha sha sah!" I had those little doubt seeds placed upon my shoulders more than seventy seven times. But you have to brush it off. Like (credit to voice teacher) a duck in the water. How they just brush bugs and bothersome things off of their wings so they can keep swimming. Thats what you want to do...KEEP SWIMMING!

DORY from Finding Nemo.

If you're like Dory, ..look at how happy she is...obviously there's some symbolism in there. Just keep swimming, and happiness will come and say "hey! I'm here! lets go!"

I truly can't see myself doing anything else with my life. 

I'm so lucky to know that.

Even if I have to go through 157239 auditions and wait tables at the nearest planet hollywood...or even get into whatever and go through rigorous rehearsals and ask...what the hell am i doing...

Because When I stand on that stage in the end, whatever or where ever that stage will be...in the end ....

I know I'm gonna be the luckiest, happiest person.

it was all worth it

Currently In Rainbows By Radiohead see related

Kid Junction, Greasy hair, Ithaca, Jacqueline.

wow.

xanga.

hahah.

I just got a raise at kid junction. 25 cents...but it's better than nothing. that's exactly what i expected for being there for 6 months anyway. Brianne, Jess and I got tipped 20 dollars for a party PLUS we got really nice bracelets. Talk about a great party mom. I've been working the desk alot lately and in the beginning I didnt really like it cause it can get pretty boring, but I think it's growing on me. Even though I dont have the opportunity for tips, lots of parties dont tip anymore anyway. So its cool.

I dont know what to do with my hair. At the end of this paragraph I'm gonna just come to the same conclusion: I'm just gonna keep growing it. But I feel like I should get my bangs cut, or get some layers. But at the same time I want my hair to be ULTRA LONG. And Ive been trimming it myself like every 6 months...but only dusting, so I guess we'll see where that goes. And I def. need to change up my shampoo cause my hair gets greasy so easily! Its so stupid. Long hair shampoo makes my hair so gross. ... i'm just gonna keep growing it.

I want to get into Ithaca College so bad. I'd do almost anything to get in. I just got my stuff into the guidance counselors so i'm almost half way there. WAY nervous about auditions. I'm going to New Prov. High school to see their Male Acapella group "Ithacapella" perform. I'm excited!

Alot of people in drama want to be Jacqueline in the musical. It's going to be a crazy turn out. Everyone is nervous about the list. I know it's gonna be so unexpected this year. Really, anyone could get anything. It's all up in the air. But I'm still excited.

I gotta go christmas shopping soon. Chamber choir really takes up december, dammnn.

Currently Listening Ravel: Greatest Hits see related

RollingStone069: hows bandy camp?

This has been the most fun summer I've encountered thus far. Even though this is a overly used phrase, I can't believe that next year...it'll be done.

BAND CAMP WENT BY SO FAST. It was awesome though. We got so much done. Now if we werent so lazy...speaking for the drumline atleast. I didnt have to yell JOE! LINE!...then the tenors would be good to go. How cool would it be if we got the show done by the lata game. Anyway, MB is gonna rock this year. I can't wait for the season to start. I'm writing tenor drum parts for the stand music so we can finally have a littl bit of stabilization rather than..."okay kevin this song is this groove right?" "no mel we do that in hey baby." "well ... lets just make up a new one!" "okay!" haha. good ol days. Even though kevin and i used to get into marching band fights like brothers and sisters...its gonna be weird if i do marching band in college or dca and not march with him. We're actually doing well this year. I heard this crazy rumor that drumline and pit might have their own bus?!

College is coming. I havent even done applications yet. I probably should. But even before I start writing essays and scholarship stuff

I HAVE TO FINISH THE JOY LUCK CLUB.

SDKGJH;dlkgja;dlfgkjnae;ipur,hgNIQKJDSFHG;SKFJGH;AKLDEFGH;AEKJFGHSEIUFGH

anyway.

today is the last day I get to see chris before he goes to college. I'm so excited for him. With him...he wont get excited until like an hour or the day of something happens. So if I ask him if he's nervous, he'll say nope. But I'm sure on sunday he'll say..."yeah a little." I'm hoping that maybe when he goes to college it'll help me think of what I should do. I dont know how but...

 I honestly think sometimes that I dont know if I'm doing the right thing...going out for music or being a music teacher rather. I dont want to teach middle school. I want to teach atleast high school level with whatever. And the more I think about it, the more I lean towards doing percussion in college. Right now the standings are

1. Percussion
2. Voice
3. Piano

I mean, so far I'm auditioning for all three...well for the colleges that let me. But then when I was in 8th grade, I wanted to be the person that writes soundtracks or finds songs for movies. Cause I love creating moods with music. That and I wanted to record and produce. So it went from that...to music teacher....

...to "i'm not really sure which to choose now."

I still have time to think. About...2 weeks maybe.

but i hope everything works out.

for now...theres marching band and practicing...and pimpin out my new room.

<3ML

Currently Listening Continuum By John Mayer Vultures see related

John May Concert and 8th grade

Turns out I have to get tests done for my dumb chest pains or whatever...even though i'm healthier than an apple. I'm not really concerned about it anymore anyway. I have to get pulled out of band camp for a few hours...buh.

Driving lesson...it was okay. I drove on the highway..I was just nervous. But whatever it'll get easier, right?

Piano lesson was REALLY good today. I got a new teacher because my old one is in japan or something? So I have this new teacher straight out of college...i still think she's in college...but she's such a good teacher. I'm learning a WHOLE lot more and i'm doing beastly scales...*sings* yyyeeessssahhh!!!

John Mayer with Kylyn...oh man...well first there was alot...okay a whole HELL of a lot of traffic haha and kylyn's mom was talking about writing to the general managers of PNC Bank Arts Center for the horrible parking...there was literally no where to park...we parked on the side of the parking lot..it was PACKED! We missed James Morrison and Ben Folds...but I'm just happy we saw John Mayer. My favourite song they played was...Gravity, Dreaming with a Broken Heart, and they did this 10 minuite jam session that was SO AWESOME. And he did a 4 minute guitar solo in Gravity. It was such an unbelievable concert. He is quite the talented man...wow.

Kylyn got White Castle on the way home. Mrs. Everson thought I was crazy for not getting anything but it was 11:45...haha. I don't like eating late. When we got to Kylyn's we talked for a really long time about a lot of good stuff. Why people think or do things they way they do, and really how to be better. I'm so glad I have great talks with her. Lately there's been alot of talk about 8th grade and how we changed from then and also how people wish they were like they were back in 8th grade...atleast between me, andrea and kylyn. And yeah...I miss 8th grade a whole lot. It was the best year in my life. There was something about each persons personality that made everyone feel together and like each other. There was no pressure or anything. We just didn't care. And if you say you don't care what people think...youre probably wrong. Because high school would be alot different if you honestly didn't care.

Thanks to our little talk of life last night, haha, I finally figured out how I changed from 8th grade and why I loved it and loved life so much. And I can't wait to start the school year...or even today on a semi-new step.

I have work today...hopefully i'll make something rather than clean the coolers. Chris is coming over later...i think we're going to wash his car..haha.

<3MLSA

Currently Reading Gone with the Wind By Margaret Mitchell see related

Andrea and I were on xanga the other day looking through past ramblings and we were laughing histerically about alot of things that happened in 8th grade. And we both agreed, along with Kylyn who came a little later, that 8th grade was the best year of our lives so far. 8th grade had some drama...but it was fun drama and everyone got along. That whole year was just goooodtimes. If I could relive the dances again...I def. would. I miss that year so much.

Anyway, so I slept over Andreas house two nights ago. We were having our "MONTHLY" SNSC. Kylyn was working so she was gonna come later. We watched this show called Predator watch or something on MSNBC. AND MAN OH MAN. That is a GREAT show. Its when NBC reporters go out and have decoys online and lure in old adult men that want to have sex with minors then they invite them to a house or beach and arrest them. Haha its great! There was a guy...naked in a kitchen...just waiting...then the reporter was like whats going on here? and he was like oh im sorry sir! blah blah....talk about awkward and embarassing. Great show though two thumbs up. Chris called me and he ended up watching it until it was around 2:30 am. I love that boy.

Then Kylyn came over and we watched comedians and talked for a while. She came around 12:34. Andrea and I thought she was crazy for coming over...well more that her parents were crazy for still driving her that late. But it was all fun. Then I woke up and I totally forgot that I had signed up to eat with IHN (interfaith hospitality) at church. Then I was like...i dont wanna go anymore. So I tried my ass off to get out of it...but then i was like...buh. whatever. i'll do it. Anna, Kaitlyn and I got to the church and the dinner was awesome. After, we started playing jenga with this kid Ronald. Then as the night went on Arianna and Tyler (they're all about 6-7 years old) came to play. Man I had a blast with those kids. We played hide and seek, red light green light, follow the leader, musical "rugs", and memory match games...I actually had such a good time that I'm going again today. 

Chris came over afterwards. I kicked his bum in air hockey, AND I beat him in pool. Then we ended up watching The Three Stooges. Haha.

Today...I go to the doctors, I go to work, and then I go back to IHN to play with the kiddies.

I feel kinda weird not reading harry potter...but last time i read was a whiiiile ago and i'm only half through the fourth...i guess youre a movie or book person in the wizarding world and i'm into the movies. Rupert Grint...DAYYYUUMM. :]

buh. I dont need to go to the doctors.

<3MLSA